When "Allies" Try to Negotiate Away Our Wins...

Dear Executive Boss In Total Control of Herself,

I need to talk to you about something that happened inside the John A. Wilson building in Washington, DC this past summer. Something that's probably happened in your city too, in your coalition, in your strategy meetings. Something that makes you feel crazy because everyone else seems fine with it.

I watched a white woman - let’s call her Karen (womp womp) - who happens to be an executive director of a major workers rights coalition - tell the media that "they" were willing to negotiate on Initiative 82 - a ballot initiative that had already won years ago. The people of DC voted to gradually raise tipped workers' wages until it reached the full minimum wage. Tipped workers - largely Black, brown, and immigrant folks - voted for their own liberation.

And this particular Karen - someone who’s never survived off of tips, not from DC, who didn’t collect a single signature for I-82 or even endorse the original campaign - decided she has the authority to negotiate that win away. Without consulting the leaders and workers who actually fought for it and won. Without asking the organizers who got it on the ballot. 

By the time I found out about the shady DC council negotiations in place - she was already resentful that the original organizers of I-82 weren’t there to hold down the victory. Even though over 6 years, she has never attempted to develop an authentic relationship with me or the leaders of the Initiative… I know she is intimidated and uncomfortable around me due to her shallow and transactional attempts at demonstrating racial justice values.

And I'm writing this letter to you because I know you've seen this before - watching a white "ally" give away what you fought for while everyone else nods along.

So let me break down what's actually happening when this goes down, so you can spot it, name it, and refuse it.

The Unauthorized Negotiator

Here's the first move: white leaders in progressive spaces assume they have the right to negotiate on behalf of people they've never consulted. They position themselves as the "pragmatic" ones, the "realistic" ones who understand how power works. 

But here's what they actually understand: they understand that they can make decisions about other people's lives and face zero consequences. They understand that if they frame the people who actually won the victory as "too radical" or "unrealistic," other white people will nod along. 

They call it compromise. 

When you see this bullshit happening, ask out loud: "Who consulted the lead organizers and workers on this? Who gave you the authority to negotiate away what they won?" Make it impossible to pretend this is coalition decision-making when it's really one person deciding.

The Credibility Attacker

Here's the second move: when there's a woman of color with a bigger vision, a longer track record, and more wins under her belt, white leaders find ways to diminish her.

In the DC situation, the aforementioned Karen has repeatedly, publicly insulted One Fair Wage and its leader - the very visionary people who led Initiative 82 (AND Initiative 77 for that matter.)

Now, Saru, OFW’s leader, can be challenging to work with - I'll give you that. But this woman is a national bestselling author 3 times over, a UC Berkeley professor, founder of ROC United and One Fair Wage, founding member of the Food Chain Workers Alliance,  The Next 250 Movement, etc, etc. Her team have launched campaigns and passed legislation across the country that have raised wages for hundreds of thousands of workers.

The white executive director had never even met her until last week. But she felt comfortable talking shit about how imperfect the organization is anyway.

Why? Because she could. Because in progressive spaces, white women can diminish "difficult" women of color and call it political strategy. The women with vision, who won't make white people comfortable, who refuse to accept crumbs? Those are the ones who get labeled as problematic.

Your job is to protect those women. Publicly and Privately! Check them in front of others as lovingly as possible but check them in private as honestly and vehemently as the situation calls for. Write a damn blog or do a podcast if you have to. But don't let their attacks go unchallenged and unchecked.

The Selective Relationship Builder

Here's the third move, and this one's insidious: white leaders know exactly how to build relationships with other humans. They understand consultation. They get coalition politics. They know you don't make unilateral decisions.

Some just chose not to do it with us.

They build relationships with people who look like and behave like them - regardless of skin color. They consult with people who won't challenge them. They promote people who make them comfortable. And then they call that "building a strong team" or "effective leadership."

Meanwhile, the Black and Brown women with more experience sit in lower positions. The organizers of color who won the campaign don't get a real seat at the table. The women who actually lived the issue get treated like props in photo ops, not decision-makers in strategy sessions.

When you see this, you have a choice: accept it for "coalition unity," or call it out. "Why weren't the workers consulted? Why aren't the organizers who won this campaign in this meeting? Why wasn’t I consulted? Why weren’t we all consulted? Why are you making decisions without the people most impacted?"

It will be uncomfortable. Do it anyway.

The Cost of Staying Quiet

I know why we stay quiet. I know the pressure to keep the coalition together, to not be "divisive," to let things slide because we need this organization or that funder or those relationships to feel “secure.”

But here's what it costs us when we do:

The people who won at the ballot box watch their victory get handed back piece by piece.

BIPOC women leaders get put in impossible positions - sacrifice the win or get labeled as difficult. And white leaders with a fraction of our experience, a fraction of our commitment, and a fraction of our vision get to keep making decisions on our behalf.

Meanwhile, we keep doing the work. We keep winning campaigns. We keep building movements.

And we keep watching "allies" negotiate away what we won while calling it pragmatism.

Here's how I feel about that.

What You Can Do Right Now

This isn't just about DC or Initiative 82. This is probably happening somewhere in your city, your coalition, your campaign.

So here's what you do when you see it:

Name it. Out loud. In real time. "This feels like we're negotiating away a win that workers already secured. Can we pause and talk about who we've consulted on this?"

Center the Impacted People. Make the workers, the organizers, the people who got it on the ballot or won the legislation impossible to ignore. "Before we decide anything, shouldn't we hear from the people who won this campaign?"

Refuse false unity. Coalition unity that requires you to give away your wins isn't unity. It's surrender in nonprofit language.

Protect the "difficult" women. The ones with vision. The ones with track records. The ones who don’t do respectability politics because we don't have time for it. Those are your leaders.

You're Not Crazy

If you've been feeling like something's wrong when white leaders negotiate away wins without consulting the people of color who fought for them - you're not crazy. If you've been frustrated watching less experienced white women take credit for leadership while more accomplished women of color get labeled as difficult - you're not imagining it. If you've been tired of staying quiet for coalition unity while watching everything you built get compromised away - you're not alone.

This is liberal white supremacy in action. It's not the blatant kind that's easy to point to. It hides behind the language of pragmatism and coalition-building and "being realistic." And unfortunately, it's not just white “allies” who embody this type of racism. It’s also people of color stuck in the quagmire of respectability politics and internalized self-doubt and self-hate.  I SAID IT.

But you know what you're seeing. Trust that.

And the next time someone tells you "we need to compromise," ask them: compromise with who? On whose authority? And what happens to the people who already won?

We deserve leaders who will protect our wins, not negotiate them away.

You Don't Have to Carry This Alone

If you're reading this and recognizing the pattern - if you've been navigating unauthorized negotiators, credibility attacks, and false coalition unity while trying to keep your campaigns alive and your integrity intact - KNOW THIS:

This work takes a motherfuckin’ toll. The kind of toll that doesn't show up in your job description but shows up in your body, your energy, and your capacity to keep showing up.

Original Zombie to Superhuman Scale Concept Artwork by Deron Holmes-Cannon

I created this Zombie to Superhuman quiz because I’ve seen too many brilliant BIPOC women leaders burn the F*ck out from carrying the weight of everyone’s political bullshit. Women like me, who were winning campaigns but losing themselves trying to please and appease people who don’t deserve our light. Women who knew how to fight for workers' rights but didn't know how to protect their own energy.

Take the Zombie to Superhuman Quiz to find out what level of stress you're carrying from leading in these type of conditions - and what it's costing you.

Because you deserve to change the world without burning out. You deserve to win without sacrificing yourself. And you deserve transformative support that actually understands what you're up against.

In solidarity,

Nikki M.G. 

Maryland Living Wage For All Campaign Coordinator 

Founder, Superhuman Leadership & People Power 

The Power Expert | Zombie Energy Slayer